Archive for the ‘Total Freakshows’ Category


 

July 14, 2008

 

Sandy Crotch. . .

Posted July 14 by Hiring Manager D.
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+24 VOTES
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July 3, 2008

 

We Can’t Afford to De-Worm You.

Posted July 03 by Hiring Manager D.
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+7 VOTES
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July 1, 2008

 

Faux Hawk + Mullet + 65 wpm = Ultimate Office Hottie.

Posted July 01 by Hiring Manager D.
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+8 VOTES
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June 17, 2008

 

We Can’t Hit Delete Fast Enough. (User Submission!)

Posted June 17 by Hiring Manager D.
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A friend of ours who is trying to hire a computer programmer on Craigslist, received this unsolicited email yesterday:

+17 VOTES
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June 12, 2008

 

Father Hood. . .

Posted June 12 by Hiring Manager D.
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+11 VOTES
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June 10, 2008

 

The Joy of a Hard Day’s Work

Posted June 10 by Hiring Manager D.
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nude_houseboy4.gif

+40 VOTES
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June 6, 2008

 

On Something, Down Under. . .

Posted June 06 by Hiring Manager D.
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+124 VOTES
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June 5, 2008

 

This One Gets the Fish-Eye. . .

Posted June 05 by Hiring Manager D.
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+8 VOTES
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June 4, 2008

 

My Acid Just Kicked In. . .

Posted June 04 by Hiring Manager D.
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+9 VOTES
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May 15, 2008

 

You’ll Need To Trust Us: You Suck.

Posted May 15 by Hiring Manager K.
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+18 VOTES
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May 12, 2008

 

Dr. Phil meets John Fitzgerald. . .

Posted May 12 by Hiring Manager D.
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John Fitzgerald Page is famous for his retarded resume and dating drama.  We love him dearly.

Here he is on Dr. Phil:

+8 VOTES
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Color Us Confused. Very Confused.

Posted May 12 by Hiring Manager D.
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I AM AN ASPIRING MALE MODEL. I AM THE ORIGINATOR OF THE ORANGE COLOR LOOK, AND THE EYE SIDE WAYS LOOK. HOW I AM THE ORIGINATOR I HAVE NO IDEA, AND I AM PROBABLY ONE IN THOUSANDS TO CLAIM TO BE, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF I AM USED IN PRINT MEDIO MODELING, IT WILL BE UNDERSTOOD THAT I AM THE ORIGINATOR, BUT THERE WILL BE NOW QUESTIONS OR ANSWERING ABOUT IT, JUST MY MODELING PICS WILL BE SELF EXPAINATORY. I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE THOUGH, LIKE SOME MINOR PLASTIC SUGUREY, A PERSONAL TRAINER, A PUBLICIST AND A VERY STRONG, STRONG AGENT. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET PLEASE DO NOT CALL, OR EMAIL ME. JUST LIVE A FAX NUMBER AND I WILL CONTACT YOU. EVEN IF YOU ARE A SMALL TIME AGENT, OR VERY EXPERIENCED, THIS COULD BE A HUGE CASH FLOW POTENTIAL IF DONE RIGHT, WITH INTEGRITY AND OF THE HIGHEST ETHICAL STANDARDS. SO SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. THANKS AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

+14 VOTES
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May 8, 2008

 

Yet Another WTF. . .

Posted May 08 by Hiring Manager D.
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Schizoid bartender seeks job.

+11 VOTES
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April 30, 2008

 

We Still Love to Hate. . .

Posted April 30 by Hiring Manager D.
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Someone just reminded us about this classic cewebrity:

Visit Gawker to get a full sense of how John became Internet-famous.

+4 VOTES
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April 29, 2008

 

When NOT to Leave Your Resume Behind . .

Posted April 29 by Hiring Manager D.
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+7 VOTES
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April 24, 2008

 

Heaven Help Us. . . (User Submission!)

Posted April 24 by Hiring Manager D.
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“Anonymous” Not Hired user reports:

While working for one of the largest universities in Missouri, I came across this gem. We decided not to hire this gentleman because his resume was a bit. . . Oh, how can i put this? Verbose is a nice way to put it, I guess.
I even went so far as to call this applicant to discuss “improving” his resume and he was offended that I thought it needed help.

Click to enlarge:

+22 VOTES
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You Poor Sweet Sensitive Soul. . .

Posted April 24 by Hiring Manager D.
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+10 VOTES
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April 21, 2008

 

Let’s All Enjoy Aleksey Vayner Again. . .

Posted April 21 by Hiring Manager D.
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A golden oldie to perk up the start of your week.  This is a video resume submitted by a Yale student to an investment bank in NYC.  Please enjoy:

+14 VOTES
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Bring the Annoyance!

Posted April 21 by Hiring Manager D.
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Come on companys!! I have the flavor that everyone in the shop loves to be a round!! FLAVOR FLAV!!!!

+7 VOTES
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April 14, 2008

 

Creepy Input ⇒ Creepy Output

Posted April 14 by Hiring Manager D.
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+8 VOTES
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April 11, 2008

 

Submission by Not Hired User, ChairmanMeow

Posted April 11 by Hiring Manager D.
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Not Hired user, ChairmanMeow, reports that the following was submitted to a design firm by a candidate seeking an internship as a graphic designer:

+14 VOTES
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April 2, 2008

 

Vanilla Ice Is Back!

Posted April 02 by Hiring Manager D.
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[Cover letter hint: Stay away from racist poetry.]

+47 VOTES
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March 31, 2008

 

Submitted by a Not Hired User!

Posted March 31 by Hiring Manager D.
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A Not Hired user, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells us that her office was hiring for an instructional assistant to work in the campus computer lab, at a community college. . .

“The job description included the following requirements: 

  • Set up and maintain specialized computer equipment and software.
  • Perform some technical duties related to computer functions and operations.
  • Provide assistance to student users of computers.
  • Train students in the use of specialized software applications.

An applicant called our office requesting that we mail her an application for this position. We told her that an application could be downloaded from the college’s website.

She replied that she could not download the application because she did not use computers.”

+41 VOTES
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March 25, 2008

 

The Dangers of Revolving Credit.

Posted March 25 by Hiring Manager D.
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h1_visa_card.gif

+13 VOTES
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March 24, 2008

 

A Fresh New Design Sensibility. . .

Posted March 24 by Hiring Manager D.
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mushroom_artist.gif

[and from their MySpace "art" page. . .]

mushroom_artist_1.jpg

+73 VOTES
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March 21, 2008

 

Lasses Seeking Lassies. . .

Posted March 21 by Hiring Manager K.
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animal_jobk.gif

+9 VOTES
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March 19, 2008

 

What Your Worst Nightmare Looks Like. . .

Posted March 19 by Hiring Manager D.
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I want to draw for you! I am looking for people that need artwork done for : businesses, communities, books, etc. I am very talented and I most definately have my own style. I also have photoshop and illustrator for use. Do not hesitate. Here are samples of some things I’ve drawn. I can draw it all. Cost will depend on type of job. I do not charge an arm and a leg. Just send me an email titled “UNDER GOD’S HANDS ARTWORK” with your questions, or you can call me @ [removed]. Ask for [removed].

[click on each image below to view full screen versions]

god_artist_13.gifgod_artist_22.gifgod_artist_31.gif

 

+24 VOTES
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March 13, 2008

 

Your Next Administrative Assistant…

Posted March 13 by Hiring Manager D.
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hold_there_horses.gif

+28 VOTES
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March 11, 2008

 

Mr. Peepers Is not a Qualified Reference. . .

Posted March 11 by Hiring Manager K.
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cool_cat.gif

+17 VOTES
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March 10, 2008

 

The Stupidest Job Seeker Ever?

Posted March 10 by Hiring Manager D.
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+173 VOTES
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March 4, 2008

 

High-Caliber Applicant. . .

Posted March 04 by Hiring Manager D.
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This came straight out of a fax machine (minus our anonymizing) at a Fortune 500 company:

going_postal.gif


+29 VOTES
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March 2, 2008

 

Your Next CFO. . .

Posted March 02 by Hiring Manager K.
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For great justice, click on the image to view full-size. . .

prison_debbie.gif

+52 VOTES
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March 1, 2008

 

Good Question. . .

Posted March 01 by Hiring Manager D.
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shipping_haters.gif

+8 VOTES
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February 29, 2008

 

Old Yeller. . .

Posted February 29 by Hiring Manager K.
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QUIT SHOUTING AT US!

old_yeller.gif

+12 VOTES
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February 27, 2008

 

Next.

Posted February 27 by Hiring Manager K.
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